Most people are unwilling to confront a friend and tell them something's wrong — but it may be the best thing you can do for that individual. You should proceed with caution, though. They could react in any number of ways and you never want to put yourself — or the other individual — in harm's way.
Is it OK to tell someone they have BPD?
But the biggest pro to telling someone that they have Borderline Personality Disorder is that they can finally get the BPD treatment they need to live a better life, have better relationships, and make a recovery from their BPD symptoms.
What not to say to a borderline person?
Saying "Stop over-reacting" or "I don't understand you" invalidates a complex inner experience and can create more defensive volatility in BPD. Acknowledging the space they are in and asking to return to it later can have better outcomes when you're both in a better place.
Do borderlines realize what they do?
People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.
Can you confront a borderline?
Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out. Avoid getting defensive in the face of accusations and criticisms, no matter how unfair you feel they are. Defending yourself will only make your loved one angrier. Walk away if you need to give yourself time and space to cool down.
Myth #6 - It is better not to tell someone they have BPD.
What scares a borderline?
Fears like “Will my husband abandon me?” or “Do my friends actually like me, or do they just tolerate me?” can plague people with BPD to the point that it disrupts daily functioning. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.
Do borderlines end up alone?
Loneliness may be common with BPD, but it's not impossible to overcome. There are many strategies you can use to feel less alone, such as joining a support group, taking classes, caring for an animal, and finding new ways to communicate with your loved ones. You may also want to consider engaging in therapy.
Do borderlines lie about their feelings?
They may lie in an attempt to explain why they behaved in a specific manner. When a person has big emotions and expresses them in ways that are considered “over the top” or “crazy” as compared to most other people, the person with BPD lies in hopes of being given a pass... or at least not being discarded.
Do borderlines get offended easily?
People with BPD are often on edge. They have high distress and anger levels, so they may be easily offended.
How manipulative are borderlines?
They have anger outbursts and become particularly volatile. More often than not, they're not intentionally manipulating others — hence the quotation marks. Although their actions appear malicious, they're just trying to get their needs met.
What annoys a person with BPD?
Relationships. Relationships are one of the most common triggers for people with BPD. People with the disorder tend to experience a higher than usual sensitivity to being abandoned by their loved ones. This leads to feelings of intense fear and anger.
Do people with BPD have empathy?
People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.
How do you make a borderline feel loved?
Here are some pointers that might help, especially when you are in the middle of a heated conflict.
- As Much As Possible, Be Attentive. ...
- Validate Their Feelings Even When You Disagree. ...
- See Their Inner Child. ...
- Loving Someone with BPD with Kind But Firm Boundaries. ...
- Loving Someone with BPD while Honouring Yourself.
Do borderlines know they are Gaslighting?
Are Gaslighters Aware of What They Do? Some people who gaslight others are aware of their actions and have even studied how to improve their techniques.
What does a BPD episode look like?
Intense outbursts of anger are indicative of an episode of BPD as are bouts of depression and anxiety. Eighty percent of those suffering from BPD experience suicidal thoughts and behavior while in the throes of an episode as well.
How hard is it to love someone with BPD?
Caring about someone with BPD can, at times, feel isolating. When things aren't going well, you may feel emotionally exhausted. Furthermore, some people with BPD may actually isolate their loved ones due to jealousy or fear of abandonment. However, it's important to keep your other relationships intact.
Why do borderlines cut off contact?
The fear of being abandoned often causes people with BPD to form unhealthy attachments. Sometimes, they may abruptly cut off these relationships, effectively abandoning their partners. Other times, they make frantic attempts to hold onto relationships.
What are the red flags of BPD?
Persistently unable to form a stable self-image or sense of self. Drastically impulsive in at least two possibly self-damaging areas (substance abuse, reckless driving, disordered eating, sex). Self-harming or suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats. Instability often brought on by reactivity of mood (ex.
Do borderlines have regrets?
People with BPD may experience rage when they perceive rejection, neglect, or abandonment in a relationship. During rage, a person may say or do things that they later regret. This could lead to ending the relationship in the heat of the moment. BPD rage is often followed by significant regret and shame.
Do borderlines feel remorse?
It is often the case that a person with borderline personality disorder displays intense emotions, sometimes "flying off the handle." After such a display, they have difficulty regulating themselves. Once they have regained their equilibrium, they do often feel guilt or remorse about their behavior.
Do borderlines forget what they say?
Studies have found that there are clear links between BPD and memory loss. One such study determined that BPD patients displayed enhanced instances of memory loss in response to the presentation of negative emotions. 1 This is thought to occur because of other severe dissociative symptoms that sufferers experience.
Are borderlines always manipulative?
Most people with EUPD/BPD aren't manipulative - but often those around us can be. Maddi Crease writes that a pervasive misconception about people who have emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) is that they easily manipulate those around them.
What is the hardest mental illness to live with?
Not only is BPD one of the most painful mental illnesses, but it's also intensified by stigma and being misunderstood by others. Fortunately, borderline personality disorder is a treatable condition, and the pain doesn't have to be endless.
What is the life expectancy of someone with BPD?
The effects of untreated borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be devastating. For example, the physical and mental health impact of this disorder is so severe that life expectancy among people who have BPD is about 20 years less than the national average.
Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?
Maintaining a relationship with a friend or family member with BPD can be difficult. However, it's important to understand that people with BPD often engage in destructive behaviors not because they intend to hurt you but because their suffering is so intense that they feel they have no other way to survive.